ALLUSION OF BEING…
(Allusion Series-3)
I realized that,
I searched something in my being
Questioning where I came from,
I’m wondering because
I came to earth somehow but not knowing where I’m going,
I accidentally chose many paths
I lost to know myself,
Learning to be who I am, without knowing…
I don’t know the cause of my birth
And why someone accepts me,
I didn’t know how to pretend
Sometimes I hide myself so as not to believe
In my motives or in my mission
Or maybe to learn from me
And negotiating with others…
There is a mysterious magnetism
That takes me to a realism,
Like a picture painted with immense colors
In the abstract,
I only see it in black and white
With my nostalgic eyes…
Sometimes I’m afraid of myself,
Consciously innocent with full of ignorance,
How much I get trauma in dealing with life,
What I can’t explain…
Maybe I’ll never know and if you find out
Is it still here, I don’t know,
Maybe even have to go back
To find out what was missing from me
Which creates an allusion in my being…
Manoj Kumar Panda
